Pinned toot

Hi new followers, be sure to watch the Balkan Marketing Robot video and join in my suffering

Pinned toot

~A boostable feast~

:flag: is a :chance: Chicago-focused Mastodon instance with a friendly local timeline and simple rules.

DM me for an invite if you're a current, former, or future Chicagoan (suburbs included :ctapurple: :ctayellow:).

I'm shouldering all costs right now, so if you like what we're doing, you can also buy me a coffee :darkmatter: at

Thanks! We :pizzaheart: you.

An arcade game that's like whack-a-mole but instead of mallets it's forks; Tine Crisis

Oh, you wanna know *MY* celebrity crush? Well, sister, itโ€™s GOTTA be Hamish Linklater

selfie, ec, boosts ok Show more

selfie, ec, boosts ok Show more

people who post lewds are braver than the troops

I didn't find this funny before I spent time in the fediverse, so there's your fedi use case right there

(don't look up "edging" in any place where you will have nsfw concerns)

Oh, you wanna know *MY* celebrity crush? Well, sister, itโ€™s GOTTA be Hamish Linklater

ringback tonesโ€ฆ was there ever a more beloved scam?

Neutralize Beto by inviting him to speak at a countertop showroom

Scouring party city for a "sexy ok-sign making blood test fraud" costume

NO I never asked my wife to "do the Theranos lady fake deep voice" in an INTIMATE MOMENT, I will NOT be reading the replies to this THREAD, THANKS

If you're watching the new HBO documentary "The Inventor", you may notice that I'm briefly featured in a 2011 clip where I say that Elizabeth Holmes "can get it". I assure you this was taken out of context

Without Mark David Chapman, we may never have had December 26th through 31st ever again. Makes you think

Show more is a Mastodon instance for Chicagoans current, former, and future.1 Its name comes from Carl Sandburg, who once compared ships pulling out to โ€œmastodons, arising from lethargic sleep.โ€2

Our goal for is to build a community of friends and neighbors across the Windy City. Toot your pho place recommendations, meet-up ideas (like at the mastodon exhibit at the Field!), pothole gripes, creative dibs, and cross-town baseball tauntsโ€”whatever you want, as long it abides by our short and sweet content policy.

For now, membership in is subject to approval. if you donโ€™t have an invite or referral, email our admin with a Toot-length intro.3

Membership is also free: hosting, administration, and domain registration are provided by our admin. Right now that runs about $100 a year, not counting labor. You can buy him a coffee if you like.

Boundless credit to our sister instances in Portland and Philadelphia for inspiration.

1. For the purpose of inclusivity, includes greater Chicagoland in its definition of "Chicago," though you personally should never do that.
2. From โ€œDocks,โ€ in Chicago Poems, 1916. Rejected URLs included noketchup.dogs,,, and
3. No more than 500 characters.