My wife vets her follow requests with me because she doesn't know all of you. Last night I explained hanny, who was approved

anyway, follow @sydney and I will explain who you are to her in one sentence while we're watching American Ninja Warrior in bed

@laser "Mastodon is basically divided into Karen, Laser, and Dirt. Only time will tell where you lie in that triangle."

@laser @sydney I don’t have the chart but i am like 70 Karen 20 laser 10 dirt


@laser @sydney everyone needs to know that my wife just tried to ask me “what was the song with the percentages?” And I asked her, “…do you mean Remember The Name by Fort Minor?” And SHE FUCKING DID MEAN REMEMBER THE NAME

@laser @sydney

This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill
Fifteen percent concentrated power of will
Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain
And a hundred percent reason to remember the name

^ does this not mean anything to you?

@alex @laser @sydney

alex is ten percent dirt, twenty percent laser
seventy percent concentrated power of karen
Five percent pee, fifty percent curse
And a hundred percent reason to remember the 'verse

@root @alex @laser YES, THANK YOU. this is exactly what my brain was doing.

Sign in to participate in the conversation is a Mastodon instance for Chicagoans current, former, and future. Its name comes from Carl Sandburg, who once compared ships pulling out to “mastodons, arising from lethargic sleep.” Our goal for is to build a community of friends and neighbors across the Windy City. Toot your pho place recommendations, meet-up ideas, pothole gripes, creative dibs, and cross-town baseball taunts—whatever you want, as long it abides by our short and sweet content policy.

For now, membership in is subject to approval. if you don’t have an invite or referral, email our admin with a Toot-length intro.