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I just put "I already know all the men I will ever need to" in my bio, because I am very tired

i feel i am adequately prepared for the trials of parenthood because i am completely accustomed to dragging an inconsolable child around the supermarket patiently trying to find something it will eat. the fact that i am the child isn’t relevant

Logging on to the Bird Instance to view the Terns of Service

This is Dill's biological father, his name is hot rod eddie

dads.cool is an instance for dads. Dads can be any or no gender, but they do have to have to have or be expecting at least one human child (sorry, pets don't count).

We're all about home improvement projects, complaining about smells, cracking open a cold one or three, talkin' cribbage, Steely Dan LPs, grill discourse, mowing the lawn begrudgingly (because we're opposed to lawns, not because we're opposed to the labor), coffee, scouting, and turning down the damned tv, kids

be sure to follow me on the dad instance to hear me complain about lawn mowers.

Some of you are still on twitter and it shows

You can't make polls with images but should I:

1. Keep my photo avatar (photo 1)

2. Switch to Lisa Simpson college animation smear (photo 2)

3. Switch to my old Van Gogh drinker twitter avi, which I used for like six years over there (photo 3)

You can't make polls with images but should I:

1. Keep my photo avatar (photo 1)

2. Switch to Lisa Simpson college animation smear (photo 2)

3. Switch to my old Van Gogh drinker twitter avi, which I used for like six years over there (photo 3)

robbing a store by squirting lemon juice on your face to hide your identity

inadvertently cultivating a reputation as a late-night Taco Bell lascivious weedlord

weird old early 20th-century aspirational status objects

Please.... my life... it's very cut into pieces

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Alex πŸ“—'s choices:

bigshoulders.city

bigshoulders.city is a Mastodon instance for Chicagoans current, former, and future. Its name comes from Carl Sandburg, who once compared ships pulling out to β€œmastodons, arising from lethargic sleep.” Our goal for bigshoulders.city is to build a community of friends and neighbors across the Windy City. Toot your pho place recommendations, meet-up ideas, pothole gripes, creative dibs, and cross-town baseball tauntsβ€”whatever you want, as long it abides by our short and sweet content policy.

For now, membership in bigshoulders.city is subject to approval. if you don’t have an invite or referral, email our admin with a Toot-length intro.