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I just put "I already know all the men I will ever need to" in my bio, because I am very tired

i feel i am adequately prepared for the trials of parenthood because i am completely accustomed to dragging an inconsolable child around the supermarket patiently trying to find something it will eat. the fact that i am the child isn’t relevant

be sure to follow me on the dad instance to hear me complain about lawn mowers.

You can't make polls with images but should I:

1. Keep my photo avatar (photo 1)

2. Switch to Lisa Simpson college animation smear (photo 2)

3. Switch to my old Van Gogh drinker twitter avi, which I used for like six years over there (photo 3)

open for a Wallace 

You can't make polls with images but should I:

1. Keep my photo avatar (photo 1)

2. Switch to Lisa Simpson college animation smear (photo 2)

3. Switch to my old Van Gogh drinker twitter avi, which I used for like six years over there (photo 3)

robbing a store by squirting lemon juice on your face to hide your identity

inadvertently cultivating a reputation as a late-night Taco Bell lascivious weedlord

weird old early 20th-century aspirational status objects

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bigshoulders.city

bigshoulders.city is a Mastodon instance for Chicagoans current, former, and future. Its name comes from Carl Sandburg, who once compared ships pulling out to “mastodons, arising from lethargic sleep.” Our goal for bigshoulders.city is to build a community of friends and neighbors across the Windy City. Toot your pho place recommendations, meet-up ideas, pothole gripes, creative dibs, and cross-town baseball taunts—whatever you want, as long it abides by our short and sweet content policy.

For now, membership in bigshoulders.city is subject to approval. if you don’t have an invite or referral, email our admin with a Toot-length intro.